The 3 Things


~ An Act, a Feeling and a Thought ~


the three primal elements that we use that disturb our natural state are:
1- an activity of separateness
2- emotional wounds that are yet to be healed
3- beliefs, thoughts and personal stories (that are often often subconscious) that we do not deserve positive experiences.

These 3 elements are symptoms that occur spontaneously as soon as our native free consciousness decides to identify with the particular body / mind / personality.
Some call this effect "Vital Shock", the pain that comes as a
result of this act of separateness, and identification
with our self protective mechanism,
also known as ego.

It is not that the ego mechanism is wrong or evil or a tragic error, the ego has its uses and purpose, but if it is overdone, then it produces and endless cascade of difficulties.

The ego is the vehicle we use in order to negotiate our way around our world. Perhaps we could think of it as we do our car or house. It is simply that. It is a wonderful tool, yet, as we know, sometimes people get carried away with their toys and begin to believe in them to such a degree that they get very confused about who they are.

So it's not that negative emotions are the source of all our problems, nor are negative thinking, personal narratives nor beliefs the cause of our distress, nor are our
habit patterns and behaviors.
Rather it is our mistaken identification with the limited body-emotion and mind, which produces an effect of separation that is the source of the suffering.

This limiting identification is the source of what we all know as our personality. And it is this wonderful and essential personality, as it currently stands, that is paradoxically the source of our pain. This certainly doesn't mean that in order to be happier that we have to eliminate our self. On the contrary, it means that we have to "to expand the ego back to infinity".

The essential business of counselling is to facilitate the expansion back to one's identifications with our greater identity, at whatever pace and using whatever cultural references that are comfortable to the client.

All the various schools of philosophy and therapy which deeply believe in either feelings, beliefs or negative behaviors as the true cause of human dysfunction and unhappiness seem to be ignoring this deeper issue of the constricting force of ego-identification.

It is the core task of a therapist to help the client loosen up this activity of identification (with the ego) and gradually support and encourage an expanded sense of self.

Our native state is happiness. A movement of exclusive identification with our individual body-mind-and heart usually occurs, which if overdone, produces the life-long sense or habit of separative-ness from all others.

Internally, that separateness also produces a self-dividing within, wherein we split-off the most uncomfortable parts of ourselves (either the mind , the feelings, sexuality or the body) in order to avoid a confrontation with the pain and confusion which resides there.
That action of disowning of different parts of the self, makes a child (or adult) extremely vulnerable and weak.

Then the child inevitably experiences wounding and betrayal because they are dependent upon an imperfect carer's (usually the parents) love and attention and support, which falls far short of what the child needs. The child then rationalizes this disappointing treatment by creating personal belief systems and a personal life-story which are designed to prevent additional trauma, but that, paradoxically, invites more re-wounding by means of the classic law of attraction (that which we focus on, think about or imagine, we create)

Have you noticed the "good news" in all this?
It is that you, yourself, right now, are actively, moment by moment, CREATING the binding force of separation which is making you unhappy.
You may well ask, what is so good about that?
It is that, if you are doing the "pinching", then it is you has the direct power to relinquish the (pinching) torments!

You may merely need someone to show you what you are doing to yourself, and to offer you an active means to substitute an alternative orientation.
Not so overwhelming, when you look at it like that.

The approach I have developed is a very simple, direct, gentle, elegant and effective approach to helping people begin to reclaim more of their native state.

I have accumulated and developed effective tools to address these fundamental levels of human alienation.
This approach deals with not only the cognitive- thinking aspect of our pain, and the emotional dimension of suffering but also the behavioral symptoms of dysfunction.

Most people feel the effects of this process of healing during, and after, the first session.
After we have some discussions which create a useful "map" and "frame" of your situation, I will usually offer to direct you in a remedial exercise which will immediately begin the corrective realignment within the different parts of yourself, including the core disposition of learning how to love yourself and care for yourself in a deep and profound way.

You are at liberty to call for as much or as little of these exercises as you wish. You may feel that it is most important for you to simply "talk". That is your choice, and I am quite happy to honour that need. You will always have the option of asking to do creative healing exercises when you feel the need. It is your call.

I am happy to tell you that this process of self mastery is not a grueling task, immersed in past dramas, or an endless assimilation of new and better insights, or a rigorous application to dreadful tasks, but a safe, graceful, and elegantly simple endeavor. Indeed it is often a most heartening and joyous process.

And I'm so pleased by the success which my clients have achieved using my method
(which I like to refer to as the “Art of Self") that I am happy to offer you a free introductory meeting in order for us to decide whether we will work on this together,
before we schedule a few sessions.

Furthermore, I can guarantee you a refund for any session which you believe has not been effective.

Call Brian Emmett to have a chat, or schedule an appointment,
either at a beautiful little Meeting Room in Myocum
(which is between Byron Bay and Mullumbimby), or
in Bangalow.

Contact me at 02 6619 0101 or 0409 602 294 or via email at
to begin recreating your Life
in an intelligent and deeply grounded way.

Telephone counselling sessions are also available by appointment


If you are interested in hearing more about this process, click on this link to learn more.

"The World is moved by Love ... it kneels before It in Awe."
William Hurt as Edward Walker in 'The Village'