-
Suffering
is the source of our motivation to change
-
Imagination
is the tool that generates a vision of a new and better reality for
us, out of seeming nothing.
-
Attraction
to a desirable state or outcome is the path of least resistance to
change, and an energizing force, as opposed to Avoidance of the negative,
which will often bring more negative results.
-
Disarmament
is critical to allow the vulnerability required for growth and development
and it introduces the possibility of movement beyond our games and
our strategies to GET IT from the Other, and is based on trust- trust
of those around us or our self.
-
Insight
and Self-Understanding are the first steps towards practical comprehension
of our situation, and grasping the reasons why we are unhappy.
-
Acceptance
follows, when we come out of denial and accept the truth of our situation.
-
Ownership
of the problem is the solution to the powerlessness of victim consciousness
and blaming of others (projection). It enables us to see that we actually
have created our victimhood as an expression of the negative beliefs
about ourselves and others which we have held onto our entire lives.
-
Self-Love
is the antidote for the core wounds of our psyche, which are the foundation
of all our shame and negative self-esteem and the basis of all our
negative beliefs about our self, Self-Love is the means and the goal
of healing and is the most fundamental and powerful factor of healing.
-
Integration:
we must allow the fragmented parts of self to communicate again, to
take their seat in our self consciousness, and begin to have a voice
and power in life decisions.
-
Commitment
to Truth is often a key to progress to greater reality for ourselves.
-
Humour
- a bit of levity somewhere along the line is an important aid to
healing
-
Higher
Power: consciously or unconsciously, we must invoke a power greater
than ego (in the spiritual sense, rather than the Freudian meaning)
as the accomplishing force.
-
Awareness
is the healthy alternative function to beliefs, thinking and knowing
and doubting.
-
Surrender:
The ego can’t do stable growth, it is too defensive and self
protective.
-
Humility
is the byproduct of ownership of a problem and opens the heart to
the possibility that our frustration and suffering may sometimes also
be an expression of the will of the soul, to have certain experiences
for its greater evolution.
-
Faith
(not necessarily of the religious variety) is needed to affirm that
progress is even possible.
-
Confession:
the simple act of sharing our concerns with another is often a very
important ingredient of growth, probably because it represents a gesture
of reconnecting to others, and the abandonment of self enclosing fears
and shame.
-
Forgiveness
of your self for your weaknesses and liabilities is the healing balm
which allows personal growth to blossom.
-
Gratitude,
for our problems, and eventually even our antagonists, is the deepest
energizer of change, and is helpful for growth to continue, and trumps
self pity and resentment.
-
Compassion
for our self and others is the dividend of Humility, Forgiveness &
Gratitude
-
Presence
is standing in and as who we really are and represents the transcendence
of self-division into thinking and believing mind, reactive emotions
and unhealthy activities and can be an integral part of the counselling
experience.
-
Power
must be accepted in the same way that any other function must be accepted,
used and released.
-
Courage
a degree of courage must appear in order to have the strength to face
the difficult moments involved with any creative process.
-
Intention/Will
is the driving force and director of change.
-
Attention
to the desired goal is the steering mechanism of Intention/Will.
-
holding
a Positive Vision of the future is the antidote to self-perpetuating
patterns of negativity.
-
Sovereignty
is fundamental to accept in order to empower and assert our right
to happiness and self determination.
-
Nurture-
a person must feel nurtured before they can accept a challenge
-
Discipline
will focus our will towards the desired goal.
-
Challenge
will motivate change for men, assuming that they already feel safe
and sufficiently nurtured.
-
Praise
will often empower change in women, if they trust the integrity of
the "praiser".
-
Men
are more oriented towards self, and so usually find growth and transcendence
in relationship.
-
Women
are generally better oriented to relationship, and so will often find
growth and transcendence in affirmation of self.
-
Service
to others, if grounded in happiness rather than guilt, is the remedy
for dissociative social habits.
-
Self-Care
is the solution to personal abuse such as self sabotage, addictions,
dietary problems, recklessness etc.